It’s Wonder Wednesday my friends! Today’s Wondering is about Creativity…This in an Invitation to participate!… I’d love for you to add your wonderings in the comments below. Let’s all help each other to bring more wonder into the world.
CREATIVITY: How’s it feel to use your creative muscles? What happens in your body? in your emotions? in your mind? What’s it feel like when you are withholding from being creative? How do you see yourself as creative? What do you wish you did more of that you call creative? What do you need to bring your creative impulses to life? Do you assume that when I mention Creativity, I mean making art or writing or music? My want is for us all to know our creativity or creative life force is a natural inborn aspect of being human. So I wonder, how do you experience being creative?
I’ve recently been examining how I feel when I stop “being creative”, as in pulling back from a creative practice like writing or making art or even cooking regularly. I’ve noticed that some fears creep in pretty quickly. There’s an underlying message in me that gets rather critical. There’s also a fear that I may never be creative again. I know… weird huh! I’m like a lifetime creator and you’d think this lie wouldn’t exist within me but yes that’s there in the background too. I think it has something to do with perfectionism and “making good art” rather than the joy of being creatively active. I’m working with embracing a more compassionate attitude about my creative life force. I’m wondering do others struggle with this as well? What happens inside you during more fallow periods of your creative life?
I’ve enjoyed the wonders of wondering with my dear friend Tiffany Montavon who posts an invitation on Facebook to wonder every week on a different subjects that offer reflections of the natural world, life tending and all sorts of curious ideas that come to her. It’s amazing to see what her mind wonders about and how eloquently she weaves her wonderings as she writes her posts. Thank you Tiffany for being an inspiration for me to embrace wonder as a practice. I am choosing to make this my practice every Wednesday from now on. I hope you will come join me in wondering every week. xo Lauren
Inspiration. I’ve been waiting around for a knock on my door, always hoping that she will arrive when most needed. She seems to come and go as she pleases, at least that’s the way it feels when I’m out of the practice of practicing in a consistent (daily) way. I get so busy with my doing list and what needs checking off. I forget the being part of myself, where I can simply and quietly be. There’s a wanting, a desire for more spaciousness in my life. Yet I can easily forget to turn off the doing list. Inspiration is always waiting around for me to arrive actually, at the doorstep of my own self.
I reach a point when my To-Do List has been checked off and my Just Being hasn’t quite arrived. This is the place where my energy becomes rapid and tight, with a few ounces of wishfulness and hope, and a big dose of desire. There’s an anxiousness that creeps into my being, makes my belly tighten, my breaths become shallow and taut, my shoulders pull up. I’m noticing this place more readily these days. There’s the constant busyness of my mind that sends rapid messages down through my blood stream to my limbs, creating a tense state of over-doing.
Here comes my dragon muse lighting a fire in my belly and insisting I sit down and do what I am doing. “10 minutes!” She emphatically chants to me….“No breakfast. 10 minutes. Write. 10 minutes. Sit and write whatever comes. Sentence after sentence…” and she hangs up laughing. As much as I want to keep laughing with her, she is right that all there is for now is the writing. No judging, no negotiating, simply allow a pen to move on the paper and words will come.
The pen has scrawled these words across the page so quickly I’ve forgotten to take a breath. Deep within there’s an old belief that if I do more, work harder, I am indispensable and worthy of love. This realization came to me recently in a meditation retreat. Tears fell through my closed eyes as I felt the weight of that realization and how long I have carried that believe around within me. I am learning to hold myself with more kindness and gentleness now. I am practicing taking the time to notice what sensations and feelings I am experiencing as they arise.
Spaciousness. A wide open field. Crisp air entering my nostrils. The stillness of an early morning lake. Quiet. This is the place I am coming back home to. Pausing. Breathing. Placing my hand over my heart. Closing my eyes and feeling the sensations from within. Laying on the ground and opening my eyes to the sky. This is how I come back home. Slowing. Slowly slowing down my in breath. Holding it for a glimpse of the emptiness in the space between and slowly slowly releasing the breath.
I come back to tending my being. Inspiration is here, in the spaciousness, in the allowing and pausing and the putting pen to paper at any moment, and the picking up the camera or paint brush and moving to where I am moved. To take a deep intoxicating breath is to tend the life force within me.
Lauren Rutten is a certified Amherst Writers & Artists facilitator and SoulCollage® Facilitator. Lauren leads weekly writing workshops and full-day combined writing and visual arts retreats in Marshall, NC. Lauren’s spiritual practice involves meditation, daily readings, contemplative walks, mantra chanting, and daily photographic adventures that are shared via her blog.